Sunny Skies. Shady People.

School is kicking my ass this semester! I guess that's what I get for having an easy year and a half in my masters' program. I should have known that it would catch up to me in the last semester. The good news is that I passed my written comprehensive exams (they were hard!) and have the oral part in about 2 weeks. So after that, I am officially eligible for graduation and the only thing I have to worry about are the two ridiculous classes and finishing my project by August. Can't wait.

Life, outside of school, is cold and boring. I go to school, go to work, work out, do homework, fall asleep on the couch, and repeat. Every. Single. Day. Occasionally, I get to eat or sometimes talk to friends.

Today, since I'm off (for the first time in weeks) I will attempt to clean my house. It is an utter disaster. I don't even know how I let things get so bad. There are clothes and shoes everywhere. Disaster.

Update: So Al texted me for my birthday. I hadn't spoken to him in over a year. I think I may have wrote that he tried to call me over the summer and left a shitty message, I don't remember. But if I didn't write about it, he did; I was suprised that he called and planned on returning it, until I listened to his crap-ass message that made a joke out of the whole thing. Regardless, back to present day....

He texted me about 5 days after my birthday and said something like, "happy birthday. it's crazy that we haven't spoken in almost a year." I wrote back, "not crazy, but thanks." So then he wrote back how it was really cool of me to respond and could we get together to talk things out.

What a joke. So now, he wants to talk. So I thought long and hard before I responded, because I didn't want to give him the opportunity to turn anything I said back around on me, which he is awesome at; he's incredible at deflecting blame and responsibility. My response: "Honestly, right now I'm just not interested. I spent a lot of time making an effort to work things out and you either fed me bs or blew me off until you wanted something from me. And now I don't care. Not angry or holding grudges; just over it all."

After I sent that, I knew that one of two things would happen; he would either try to bs his way out of what I said if there was some part of it that wasn't true (because if there's a hole in one piece, then that gives him the right, in his mind, to try to convince everyone that ther rest is wrong to, even if it isn't) or he would know that everything I said was correct and he would have no way to combat it. He couldn't and he didn't. He wrote back, "that's fine, I understand."

Honestly, I was shocked. This kid tries to deny everything and never takes responsibility for the shit he does to other people. He really should be a politician. But he conceded, because he knows he's done dirt to me and he knows that I'm serious when I say I'm over it and him. Were we good friends? Yes, but I don't want to be friends with someone that would treat me the way he did, and then try to blame it on me. Sad to say, but it's over.

Moving on.

Earlier this week, I realized that I have never asked a guy out. Never. I've never had to, because guys have always asked me. But I realize that I have let a lot of guys pass me by, because I may be interested in them, but don't say anything. I don't understand how it works. I see my kids do it all the time, but I just don't get it. Do I just walk up them and say, "I think you're cute, would you like to go out?/can I have you're phone number?/do you have a girlfriend?" All that seems so weird to me. I don't know. It's just a thought I had.