Sunny Skies. Shady People.

I don’t think that I have mentioned it here, but during the past six months, I have pretty much cut off contact with the group of friends that I usually hang out with. Not really the entire group, but just one person, Al. But once you stop hanging out with that one person, you basically stop hanging out with the others because the only time you really see them is when you’re with the other person.

Anyway, so I got a phone call from Al Monday morning. I looked at the phone and was like WTF? Why is he calling me? He has not made any attempt to contact me in all this time…now all of a sudden?

Okay, now for the back story.

If you remember any of my entries over the past 2 years, you’ll see that they are sprinkled with details about Al being a dick or inconsiderate. And most of it was because he was stressed at his job and his personality just changed and he was being an asshole to everyone. I, of course, would be the only one to call him on it. We’ve been friends for over 5 years and I’m his second or third oldest friend. So if I can’t tell him the truth about himself, then who can? But he liked his new batch of friends who agreed with everything he said and let him get away with treating them like shit. That doesn’t fly with. So he would start blowing me off. He wouldn’t return my calls or he would leave me out when they all went to dinner, the movies, or just out somewhere. It hurt, but I gave him a lot of leeway because I knew he was having issues and I was trying to be supportive and give him space, and hopefully he would come to his senses.

To make a long story short, let’s cut to my Birthday in January. I said to myself, if he doesn’t call me on my birthday to at least wish me a happy one then that would mean that the friendship was over. Mind you, this was after being blown off a lot! So the fact that I was still even considering being friends with him, was big for me. Anyway, at about 7:30 that night, he texted me. I was very happy because I was thinking, okay great, maybe I don’t have to end this friendship. He asked me if I had plans. I told him that I one of my students was taking me to an dinner, but we could possibly meet up after and hang out for bit. He texted back that he had to be at work early the next morning so he couldn’t.

After dinner with my student, I didn’t want to go home, so I decided to text one of our mutual friends, to see if he was out somewhere (because he usually is). Well he was out, and guess who he was with? Yup, Al. And it was after midnight. It hurt my feelings so much that I just texted back, “well thanks for hanging out with me on my birthday”. And then I found out a couple days later that he didn’t even remember my birthday; one of our other friends had to remind him that he should call me. Seriously? We’ve been close friends for all these years and someone who just met me had to call you to remind you of my birthday. Needless to say, I have made no attempt to communicate with him since then.

So, cut to this past Monday. He calls and leaves a message. The first thing he says is, “No, this is not a mistake. I’m actually calling you.” Who fucking says that? Then, “It’s been a couple months (actually six and half) and I haven’t heard from you, which is weird. So I don’t know if you want to talk or something.”

It is weird that we’ve gone that long without talking. You know why? Because during the past 2 years, I’ve usually been the one who initiated the contact between us. I would call, I would text, I would email. Sometimes he would respond back, sometimes he wouldn’t. But in that time he never initiated anything. I guess he thought I would always be there to say, “hey what’s up, we haven’t hung out in a while.” I just made the decision not to. I felt like I was making all this effort to keep up a friendship that the other person wasn’t showing any interest in.

And it speaks volumes that because I didn’t call, it took 6.5 months for him to make any initiative to contact me.

I listened to the message twice, rolled my eyes, then promptly deleted it. And now I’m wrestling with the decision of whether or not to call back. Part of me wants to be like, fuck that I’m not calling back. The other part of me wants to call back and say, “Fuck you, I’m not interested in a friendship with you.” And another part of me wants to say, “You made me feel like shit, but I miss my friend. But that part of me is mostly overshadowed by the other part that just wants to say “Fuck you.” Sigh.

I don’t need any of this shit right now. My life has been so nice and stress free the past 6 months. Know why? Because I wasn’t worried about whether Al was going to call me back, or if he was mad at me for some unknown reason, or whether he was having a get together that I wasn’t invited to, again, for some unknown reason. I also didn’t have to deal with whatever drama was going on in that group. I have liked and enjoyed my life over this half of the year, and all I had to do was cut one asshole out. I’m not sure if I want to or if I’m even interested in going back there.

I thought that I was past the stage in my life where I would have to get rid of friends. Especially the type of person I am, I’m very particular about who I let in my life, who I invite to my house, who I tell certain things to (that is, of course in spite of this blog :-D) because I simply don’t like or trust most of the people that I meet. So it is sad to possibly lose Al as a friend, because at one point he was a really awesome friend to me. And I do remember that despite what’s going on now. Ugh…too much to think about!

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Today at the Estat3, we had a great group of kids. They were a Le!sure Acc3ss group, which means that they were special needs. Some were in wheel chairs, some had walkers, some had physical deformities, some had mental disabilities. But they were such nice kids and so eager to learn. I thought I would have difficulty doing the lesson but they were completely engaged, answering and asking questions, and gearing to go. When we actually got into the water to do the activities, they kids with the physical problems were the first to jump in and start participating. And they really enjoyed it. It’s always fascinating to me that kids with disabilities are just kids at heart. People always have the urge to treat them differently when there is no need. It also makes me sad that the kids without problems (besides emotional ones), have less manners and less appreciation for things than these kids do.

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Okay, time to lighten the mood a bit. Here is Text Mania 3. A two-fer!

#1
E: How long do I have to stay at a family function before it’s no longer rude to leave?
Me: About 30-45 min. But that’s if you preface your entrance with, “So sorry, but I can’t stay too long.”
E: Crap! I didn’t do that.
Me: Then you gotta give it about an hour and a half. Just long enough so that they can’t really pinpoint just when you came in.
E: Shit!

#2
(Preface – about 2 weeks ago my friend E texted me after she first heard Maxw3ll’s first song on the radio saying that she thinks the song might have impregnated her because the song AND Maxw3ll were too sexy.)
E: Maxw3ll needs to stop playing with this new CD before a bunch of women start asking him 4 child support.
Me: Hahaha! I haven’t heard it yet. I guess he’s the cause of the Immaculate Conception.
E: I’ll give you a copy.
Me: Cool, but I may need protection. You know my stance on having kids.
E: Ha! You should always be prepared. Don’t they teach that in the girl sc0uts or something?